Sunday, November 2, 2008


From the beginning, there was ambition. Fear of failure and mists of uncertainty as well, certainly, but brightest and hottest burned the desire to excel. Closer and closer the goal came, at times insufferably slowly, at times with blinding speed, until at last: OSU OH-IO! grad school Buckeye Fever living in the shade You're a teacher You're a student EXCEL!EXCEL!EXCEL!

And thus, without so much as a passing conscious thought, ambition took 3 lonely weeks and crammed them so full of excellence and achievement that time itself seemed fit to burst from the strain. The newest object of passion had become the newest destroyer of life.

Yet moments did come, despite ambition, that restored some balance. A trip to the aquarium, life's first encounter with all creation's most boring mammal, the manatee, an occasional lunch out. During these moments ambition abandoned the pedestal it had been allowed to construct for itself and again there stood blessed balance, precarious and timid, but comforting.

Excel!Excel!Excel!Excel!Excel!Excel! Balance is again no more. Ambition is taskmaster. You are a student You are a teacher Curriculum Vitae You must build Volunteer Tutor students Your studies are your priority You must teach your students well because You are a buckeye You are a student you are a Teacher YOU MUST BE THE BEST!

Suddenly, 6 weeks have passed. Life seems to be crumbling in its most excellent of chapters. How can this be? Is this not the life of dreams? Can naivete have truly taken this heavy a toll?

November 2 08

Life has slowly begun to find its rhythm. Thankfully it's become somewhat easier to find the ever-illusive balance that's so easily supplanted by raging ambition. It's become somewhat clearer to me that herein lies an interesting and dangerous side of talent: if allowed, ambition paired with talent become the greatest enemy balance can encounter. The greater the talent, the greater the danger.

1 comment:

Anna said...

Finding balance. Yes, even when ambition is not cracking such a whip, I'm always fighting for balance.
I'm glad you have a blog. I'll be checking back...